I'm a little bit discouraged. Many of you know that I moved to Rexburg in response to a feeling that God wants me here. I was given a blessing in which I was promised I would find answers in the scriptures, which answers I found, which filled me with the assurance that I would be taken care of. The thing is, I don't have a job yet. I'm running out of money. I have just over what I'd have earned in two weeks at my old job. Two weeks. That's pretty scary to me.
I admit, the thought has entered my mind, I could go back to Nampa, get my old job back (Tami would rehire me in the very instant I asked), live my old life. My old life that was taking me nowhere! But what have I here? Nothing. No family. No job.
The kids love it here. I love it here. I feel like this is where I'm supposed to be, and I still have faith that I will get a job before I become completely desperate. I've been looking everywhere, applying everywhere, leaving resumes all over town. I have had four interviews. It's unusual for me to have so many interviews and no job. It's very, very frustrating and discouraging.
BUT. In the blessing, I was told I would have trials and that I would rejoice in those trials. I think this is one that I'm supposed to rejoice in! And, I tell you what, in a way I really am. I'm rejoicing that I get to be with my children most of the day every day. I rejoice that I actually have the resources to sustain me during this time without work! These many weeks have been awesome, not having to work! Also, when I really think about it, I'm not actually worried because I know that if my life is in God's hands, everything will be okay. If I get to the point that I have one dollar in my checking account and no job, God will provide, as long as I do everything I can do. And in that, I do rejoice. I wonder what He has in store for me. I'm excited about His plan, whatever it may be!