Sunday, December 19, 2010

The dream I never dared to dream

The house is mine! Okay, I guess nothing is official until I have the keys and I'm walking over that threshold. But... The offer of 65k was countered and after some negotiation, we ended up at 68.4k, buyer to pay closing costs. Not bad 't'all. I'm really excited. The house will be MINE and my mortgage payment will be less than my rent!

What a blessing this is! My lender was anything but optimistic that I'd get approved, what with my credit stains. But I was approved! And I am buying a home!

Closing date is January 18. My house is getting inspected on Monday. My house.... "My house..." I'm a single mom without a college degree in my 20's (okay, only for another few months, but still!) and I'm going to have a place I can call "MY house!" For so many years, this was never even a goal because I didn't think it would be possible. Really, it's only been since I moved back to Nampa that I started thinking "hmm.... I wonder if I could buy a house. Yeah right! That would be pretty cool though."

And now, not even a year after my return to this great city, the dream I didn't dare to dream is coming true!

I can put as many nails in the wall as I want to.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

New House!

Well, I'm going to buy a house. I never thought that I would ever buy a house as a single mom, ever! I'm soooooo excited! First, I thought I'd be approved for an awesome loan that would be $500 down. But, then, because of my ex's fiasco with our apartment (long story short: I moved out in April of 2007, he moved his girlfriend in in May, I signed off the lease, he said he'd signed too, it was a lie, so in Nov when he and his gf were evicted, all his back rent and damages hit my credit, where it still sits, despite my dispute), my lender said I don't qualify. So he ran it through for another loan, and I qualified for 3.5% down, which is still pretty great!

I put in an offer today for the house I want sooo bad. Here it is!

Pretty cute, right? Yes it's small. Just over 1000 sq ft. But other than that, it's perfect!

There's the living room. This is the only thing I wish was bigger. I can handle small bedrooms, kitchen, bathrooms, etc. But I'd really like this room to be bigger. But, really, it's not too bad. I could fit a furniture set and my piano easily enough.

There's the dining area. I like the floor.

Kitchen. Don't mind the smallness but I wish there was more counter space. Eventually, I'd put in an island between the kitchen and dining area to add more counter space. Notice the refrigerator and microwave already in the house!!

Master bedroom above.

Main bath above. There's also a master bath which is very similar.

Cool laundry room that leads to the 2 car garage. And includes a sink. Awesome!
Covered patio.

And check it:
Yeah, that's a 2 story playhouse with a slide coming out of it, and a huge storage shed!

I LOVE THIS HOUSE! It's listed at $70k, we offered 65. I'll know if the offer was accepted no later than Tuesday. WOO HOO!

Tuesday, November 30, 2010


Unintentionally, this post relates to the one former. I've done some thinking. I think I should think more often. It's very satisfying. And anyway, I've come to some conclusions. Nothing about my thoughts are new, but to me, they are realizations, and are, therefore, enlightening. Which is always fun.

So, I'm single, and have been for 3.5 years. Being a single mom when you're not married is much easier than being a single mom in marriage. I don't pity my single motherhood, for I've done it pretty much since my daughter was born. I enjoy it a lot more now than I did during marriage. I'm better off financially than I was when I was married!!

Excuse my tangent.

Here's the thing: Just because I'm single, doesn't mean I am supposed to do things alone, by myself.

I feel anxiety when I think that someone else has to do something for me. I get all wadded up inside when I need help with my car or with my kids, or, especially, with money. Thankfully, I've not needed the latter much since I moved from Rexburg.

But anyway, today I realized that no one is meant to do this life alone. If that was the case, we'd all be provided with our own planets, or other large geographical space, and be expected to navigate it on our own, and equipped with everything we'd need to do so. However, that is not the case. In the garden of life, to some of us is given a ho, shovel, and rake. To others it is given seeds. And to others, it is given a watering can. Not one of us has every tool necessary to make it through this journey. We must rely on others. We must help others. Together, we can create a beautiful, satisfying, highly successful garden. Alone we can do nothing, and will die.

And so, next time I'm camping with my family and they help me set up my tent, I'll happily allow the help, rather than silently bemoan my lack of tent-setting-up skills; rather than mightily hoping they won't be secretly upset with me for requiring assistance. Eventually, with this attitude, I think I'll be able to release the anxiety that accompanies me when others help me.

And if you're not willing to help me set up my tent, or help me plant my garden, that's fine. I'll find someone else who is. Because, not only am I literally unable to do it myself, I'm also not supposed to do it myself. I'll share my garden tools with you, will you share your water with me?

Now, sometimes, we can offer more help to someone than he or she can to us. Conversely, sometimes, someone else will be able to give us more than we can return. I've learned that this is okay. This equals out in the grand scheme of things. For example, take my friend Lee from my previous post. Lee has a beautiful garden. It's not complete. Well, I didn't have many carrots or potatoes. But Lee had plenty. And he gave them to me so I could use them in my garden. I have shovels and little rakes and even gloves. But Lee had those already. He didn't need anything of mine. Someone else has what he needs. While that's all going on, someone else I know perhaps is lacking tools, so I can give him or her what I have, and perhaps that person has lots of corn and beans, but so do I. And so, from that person, I simply don't need what s/he can offer. And that happens sometimes, and that's ok. I can only take so many of Lee's carrots and potatoes before he needs to stop sharing them with me, and before I have enough.

And SOMETIMES, we have enough of something; we just don't know what to do with it, or we just use it incorrectly, and so we think we need more, when really we only need to cultivate it wisely.

And, so, I forgive Lee. He helped me so much, but there was little I could do for him. And that's really really okay. There's not much more he can do for me, nothing that he's done already, and I don't need him anymore. And so it's okay for us to take the natural courses of our lives, which simply do not logically, or otherwise, include each other.

That was a fun little garden analogy. Needs some work, but it was fun. :)

Thursday, November 18, 2010

shameless, childish VENT

When I moved to Rexburg in June of 2008, life was great for the first few months while I lived off my tax returns and hung out with my kids all day every day. Then I started looking for a job. Then, life sucked, from that moment on, till the day I moved home in April of 2010.

One bright spot in my Rexburg life was Lee. I started working at Deseret Industries in April of 2009, three months after I'd been laid off from my first horrid Rexburg job. All jobs in Rexburg are horrid. The first employee I met there was Lee. He was the "Developmental Specialist." Lee is married and has beautiful kids and there was never anything sexual or romantic or otherwise improper, not even remotely, in our relationship. But, there was something special, I believed. D.I. is kinda a place for kids who need help in some form or another. I thought I was one of the few normal folks who worked there, but as it happened, I needed help. I was an emotional, psychological mess. Lee was just the person for such a mess as he has an education in psychology, and a naturally compassionate disposition.

Some months when I lived in Rexburg were so very, very dark, that I really think Lee may have saved my life, in a way or two. He listened like no one else EVER had. I believed him when he told me I was important, and lovable, and that he cared.

And, you know, the act of "unfriending" on Facebook shouldn't mean a thing, except that it does, when it's by someone you believed when he said he cared.

maybe caring was just part of his job description.

As stupid as it is, it leaves me to wonder what the heck my purpose in Rexburg was. I spent 2 miserable years there. And now, one of the only reasons I look back on Rexburg with any degree of fondness disappears from my life? I did nothing for Rexburg and it did almost nothing for me.

Thank goodness for my dearest friend Eileen. If not for her, I'm pretty sure Rexburg would be the biggest waste of my life to date.

I wonder why Lee unfriended me. But I don't want to know.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Fall 2010 Update

I don't blog as often because I don't have pictures to post. That's because my camera doesn't work very well. Sad.

Well right now I'm looking to buy a house. Here's how I feel about that: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm so excited. I wish I could have a house right now. But, no, there's loans and processes and blah blah blah. My goal/desire/wish-upon-a-star is to have my own place by Christmas.

Speaking of wishing on a star, do you remember when you believed that wishing on a star worked? And no matter how many times you didn't get your wish, you wished again anyway? Anna is in that stage now. She wishes on a star all the time. She whispers her wish (because, of course, if you say it out loud, it won't come true), and usually I can't hear it. And I won't think to ask her to break the rules and tell me what her wish is, though I usually really do want to know. But the other night, I heard her wish. She wished for powers.

Haha! She's so cute. Her favorite power is one that she made up, and that is the power to change her dolls, stuffed animals, ponies and any other toy (including Legos) into living things, and the power to change animals into people. And then the power to change them back whenever she wants. Once I asked her if she could have any power what would it be. Her response: "Actually, endless powers."

Anna's birthday is in about 6 weeks and I can't wait. I love her birthday.

Well, my sister is getting a divorce. I'm sad and I worry about her because she's better than I am and doesn't deserve the hell of divorce. I didn't deserve it either but Melanie is just -- well I don't know really but it just seems like more of an injustice with her than me. Plus, I know what it's like and I wouldn't wish the raw pain that I went through on anyone. Especially not someone I love.

So I don't know what to do to help her but I wish I could just make it all go away.

I'm still single! So very, very single. There was this guy that I had a little hope in for a while. I found him on eHarmony. (BTW, eHarmony is WAY better than LDSsingles). We never actually met in person since he lives in Colorado, but after a month of talking online and on the phone (this was September), he was planning a visit so we could meet. He seemed so perfect. He was LDS, smart, funny, had a career (you know, a real job that could actually support a family), he seemed so respectful and sweet. He was intelligent. And we had some really great conversations. But things got a little weird. He started making comments that were, to me, inappropriate for our stage in the (non-) relationship. I simply told him I felt that way and he got defensive. Then I realized he was a human and not a demigod and shoot, I can find humans all over the place; I don't need one outta Colorado. Then I realized I don't know him at all and he doesn't know me at all and to be very honest, I had a crazy episode which involved realizing that if he's human, he can break my heart. Not that there was much of an investment, but he was the closest thing to a relationship I've had in over three years. Well, come to find out, I'm not ready for a heart break. I thought I was. But I'm not. And, so, I'm not ready to risk a heart break. And so, I'm not ready for a relationship. At all.

He wasn't a bad guy. Maybe. I guess I don't really know. Luckily for me, he also decided he wasn't ready to come out and meet me, and he told me that, sparing me the job.

It was kinda a blow. Really? I'm not ready for love? It's been almost FOUR YEARS since my ex husband left. How can I not be ready? How can I not be healed? What is the matter with me? So.

Live and learn!! If there's a next time, he'll be local.

There's no one right now. I don't even have a crush. I don't know of anyone around here that I'd be interested in dating. That's depressing because I know a LOT of single ladies, most of whom feel the same way: not really any single guys around here worth dating. Well... there is this guy in my ward I'm curious about. I don't even know his name, but I'm 98% sure he's single. He shines, so that's why I'm curious about him. I want to know howcome he's shiny. He seems shy and sweet and always has on a nice suit. But mostly, he shines.

Moving on. I have been homeschooling my kids. But my schooling leaves a lot to be desired. My kids are very smart. Both of them are reading at a level higher than their own grade. Both know addition and subtraction pretty dang well. They can even tell you what waning crescent and waxing gibbous means, and they can define Soprano, Alto, Tenor and Bass. Okay, so that's not really relevant for the 1st grade, but come on: that's impressive. The reason I'm homeschooling them is because I work 1:30 Pm to 10:00 Pm. Meaning, if they went to school, I would NEVER see them. But, the mornings are when I do my errands, chores, all that stuff, why did I ever think I could educate my kids? It's just not working out so well. I need a day shift SO bad. I'm really working on it.

Um.... must-read books for you: DaVinci Code. Kite Runner. A Thousand Splendid Suns. But Hunger Games wasn't as good as it was cracked up to be. I only read the first and I've no desire to continue the series.

That is all.

Friday, August 13, 2010

Names Vent

Disclaimer: This post contains my opinion. This post doesn't matter. If you disagree with my opinion, we can still be friends, I hope. I do pretend to be an authority on names, but I guess I'm not really, so please don't take anything here personally!

First of all, I dislike trendy names. Sometimes I like the actual names, but hate the trend. For example, I think the name Michaela is very cute. I can even abide SOME of the alternate spellings, like Mikayla. Remember when everyone was naming their girls some form of Michaela? I don't think that's cool.

I especially hate boy names used on girls, especially when it's trendy. Madison is the perfect example. There is nothing about Madison that looks or sounds feminine. It has the word "son" in it for crying out loud! Other masculine names I hate when used for girls are Morgan, Jordan, Jaden, Addison, Kadin, Riley, Payton(!!) and Taylor. How is Taylor feminine?

I also hate when people add the letter 'y' to a perfectly masculine name and apply it to their baby son. Like "Jordyn." Suddenly, the boy name LOOKS girlish. Sure, it's cutesy now, but when Jordyn is in Jr High, everyone will call him a girl. However, if you must use a boy name for your girl, then by all means, add a y. Madisyn actually LOOKS girly. Still sounds like a boy though.

I now conclude my name vent.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Funny Words

On the drive home from our vaycay to Utah (details to come), I tuned into my kids' imaginary play at about this point:

Anna: This is Kelly at The Ice Scoop, how can I help you?

Matthias: I would like some ice.

Anna: Really?

Matthias: Yes.

Anna: Okay. And then I got you some ice to your door....

Matthias: But it wasn't very much....

Anna: Uh-huh, it's a lot.

Then there was something about a snowman in a bucket.

ALSO. We wished on a star tonight. It was very bright and not the North Star so I think it's a planet. I told the kids I think it's a planet because it's bigger and brighter than the other stars. We did the whole "Starlight, Star Bright, first star I see tonight" thing anyway, even though it's not a star. Matthias wished for a puppy named Alexander with a collar. He said he knows he'll get one. Anna said "If his wish doesn't come true, it's a planet."

ALSO. We drove past Costco. Matthias read "Costco." Then he pointed out that there's a 't' in it, and so it says "Cost-co, not Cosco." Yes, son. Yes, that's right. I'm a little embarrassed that I've had nothing to do with my son learning how to read. I'm really not sure when it happened but he's surprising me all the time with the stuff he reads.

I love them. Ever so much.

Sunday, August 1, 2010


Well on Monday, I dropped the kids off to Randy's for the whole week. He's supposed to have the kids four weeks in the summer but he's only taking them this week, which is fine by me. He never said anything so neither did I. Until last week. Suddenly he wanted to exercise his summer visitation even though the summer's almost over.

This has been a long week. So so long. Excruciating. I miss my kids so much. I get them back today and I can't wait. Only, Randy called today and said Anna wants to talk to me. So Anna asked if she can stay another few days at daddy's because she doesn't want to come home.

And so my heart broke but I kept a steady voice (somehow) and told her no, it's time to come home. She started to cry. And cry and cry and cry. And I wonder how can she possibly not want to come home? I must not be as awesome as I thought. :(

So I'm way bummed now. I'm makin the kids cookies now, and I hope Anna will be happy when she gets here, but I think she'll cry again. Even with the cookies. And dinner. FROWN.

PS Today I deactivated my Facebook account. Wonder how long it'll last. :)

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Brief Update

WELL we are here in Nampa and have been for nearly 6 weeks. I think I can speak for all of us when I say we LOVE it! Anna had a really hard time leaving her friends in Rexburg, but she's made a ton of new friends here already and she's okay now.
Our house is SO cute. I live with an old acquaintance, Sarina. She owns this adorable 3 bedroom house and lived here alone till I and my children joined her. We get the other 2 bedrooms and we all share the living room, kitchen and yard. But it's more like I live here alone because Sarina's work schedule conflicts with mine and we never see eachother unless I have a day off. And the rent is ever so reasonable.

The neighborhood is fantastic. We live in a cul-de-sac and there's a bunch of little kids here too. How perfect is that for a kid?

Leaving Rexburg was interesting. I thought I had a lot of friends. But, looking back, I think of that country song, "You Find out who Your Friends Are." That's for sure. The friends I thought were closest didn't even come to say goodbye to me, let alone help me move. Many of them stopped by to take something off my hands that I was getting rid of (a bed, a wedding dress, two paintings) but that was it. They grabbed my stuff and left. I was surprised. Even the friends who claimed they would cry when I left didn't come help me move. Maybe they meant cry for joy. ;) I'm not all butt hurt about it-- okay, I admit, at first I was-- but it really did surprise me. Only a handful of the people I met in Rexburg are true friends, and for them I am so very grateful. It was just kinda a wake up call for me. A time to re-evaluate my friend-making method and adjust some things for the future. Mostly I realized that I trust people too early. I invest a lot into relationships without indication that there will be a return. That will change. :)

BUT, with the help of my family, my cousin and her boyfriend, and my friend BEN STODDARD the rockstar, we moved.

I began training at my job the following Monday. Training was a drag but after five weeks of that, I'm finally taking phone calls on the floor and I really dig my job. I even like my shift, 1:30 to 10:00 pm. I get the whole morning with my kids and then get to hang out with awesome folks at work all night.

At first, my ex husband was watching the kids while I worked. He wanted to, and that surprised and impressed me, so that's what we did. But it became ridiculous. The kids hated it; Matthias cried most mornings. They just didn't wanna go to Daddy's every day. And he became so unreasonable with his requests (park at this exact location when dropping them off and picking them up, don't talk to me, don't ask how the kids did that day, don't request he do anything for the kids, sign up Anna for free lunch at school or else, let me have the kids on foodstamps, etc.) so I got them enrolled in daycare where I was free to inquire about my children and park wherever I wanted, and where the kids looked forward to going in the morning. For a while. Soon I lost respect for the daycare and their methods (boy, do I sound picky or what?). The teachers didn't seem at all invested in my children and I am insulted by that. They over promised and under delivered. So, when my sister-in-law offered to watch the kids for a very low price, I pulled them out of that daycare too. And now everyone is happy with Christine and Chris. My kids LOVE going there and I know I can trust her and it's a great deal. I'm VERY grateful for her service. She's so amazing.

Well my ex was VERY upset with me for putting the kids in daycare so he told me he will never take the kids for his scheduled weekends again until I change. In other words, when I give him control again, he'll take the kids on his weekends. In other words, if he can't have the kids when I'm working, he doen'st want to see them at all. Logical, right? He's made good on his word and has skipped his past 2 weekends. So far, the kids don't mind, but soon they'll start to miss him and then I don't know what I'll do or how I'll explain that they can't go to their daddy's.

So much for "brief" huh? I need to play with my kids before I go to work. Off we go!

Wednesday, March 31, 2010


So lots has happened. I'm moving home. Home to Nampa. I cannot explain the level of my excitement.
So here's what happened. I was feeling so very, very depressed. I couldn't shake it. It was embarrassing and deep and seemingly incurable. I was just walking around in this horrid depression. NOTHING was "fun" anymore. I couldn't focus on ANYTHING. One of my favorite pastimes ever is reading, and I couldn't even read a book. Sometimes I would try, just to see if I could ignite that old passion, but after a few sentences, I'd have enough. So, you can imagine what school was like.
The only thing I ever had a desire to do was sleep. Sleep was the only thing I enjoyed, the only thing I looked forward to. Okay, my kids also brought me joy. Sleep and my kids were the only things I loved. Everything in my life was suffering.
ALSO, the weather in Rexburg frustrated me every day. Every time I had to spend five minutes scraping the super-glue snow off my windshield, I would get angry. Yes, ANGRY about ice-glue on my windshield. That's so silly! Every time I saw the snow, or the temperature, I wanted to hide in my bed.
I even never wanted to blog. Remember when I used to do this all the time? Well, it just hasn't appealed to me in a long time. Writing in general, a true passion of mine, seemed uninteresting.

At any rate, I was depressed. Every month when rent was due, I had a mini-crisis. Because I almost never had the money. Somehow I always came up with it. Bills stressed me out because even with my two jobs, I simply didn't have the money (two jobs that equal fewer than 30 hours and pay less than $10/hr doesn't cut it). I hated that I wasn't making enough money to adequately support my family.
Also, I was failing most of my classes. This is so very unlike me. I don't fail. I get A's or B's. School has always been VERY important to me, but I just couldn't focus on homework. When I had to choose between sleep and class, I would choose sleep! Again, NOT LIKE ME!

So, yes, I was miserable and cold and so very depressed and feeling like the biggest failure, biggest loser (not in the good way-- in fact I gained a LOT of weight this semester) ever and feeling like there is no light at the end of the tunnel and feeling like being not-alive would be better than the alternative.

Then I got an idea, that felt like a Divine inspiration. Move home. Get a job that pays the bills. Move home.
That idea alone gave me a spark, and my world wasn't so dark.
I explored it. Prayed. Fasted. Temple-visited. And I learned that it was time for me to go home. That decision made, I began looking for employment. That decision made, I began to see more light. That decision made, I began emerging from what I thought would be a lifetime of self-inflicted failure misery.
A friend tipped me about a job opening where he works that had fabulous benefits and okay pay, pay that would, at the very least, pay my bills! And it was in Meridian. I applied and got a phone interview right away. After the phone interview, I got a face-to-face interview. So, in the middle of March, I drove my sweet family to Nampa for the face-to-face interview.
The next day, I received a job offer from Citigroup.
Haha, it reminded me of the time when I used to get every job I interviewed for. Then I came to Rexburg and no one would hire me. And I thought my luck had run out for good. Then I decide to move to Nampa and get the first job I even apply for?? A work of God, I tell you.
I came back to Rexburg and submitted my two weeks notices to my jobs, and told everyone the good news. Some of my dear Rexburg friends threatened tears. And I am sad, so sad to be leaving this beautiful place filled with beautiful people, but that sorrow is completely swallowed up in my joy and relief of moving back to Nampa!
So I began looking for housing. The problem with that is that I have an eviction on my rental history, and lousy credit. (this is all because of the dishonesty of someone else. Long story, but please just know that I personally have never been evicted-- just technically I have.... anyway....) And I didn't know how I was going to come up with a deposit plus first month's rent and I didn't want to live with my parents. So I was praying that someone would be merciful with my credit and that I'd be able to find a deal on a deposit. I posted on Facebook that I was looking for a place to live and if anyone had any leads to let me know. An old acquaintance replied saying she was looking for a roommate. Well, with two kids, I'd never even considered the roommate route, but she has a three bedroom house that she lives in alone and she said I and the kids could have the two bedrooms she's not using and the bathroom (she has a master bedroom w/ a bathroom). The more I thought about it, and the more we talked about it, the better it sounded. Actually, it's quite perfect. I don't have to pay a deposit right away. She's not going to run my credit. And she said I can pay her the first month when I get my first paycheck. This is the best deal EVER! I saw her house on Sunday and it's very cute and plenty spacious and has a big backyard and a garage and I love it and I'm so excited.
Seems like everything is falling into place.
Oh, and I withdrew from school. It was too late in the semester to get my grades up to satisfactory. So, in order to preserve my GPA, and in order to avoid waiting for the end of the semester to get a job in Nampa (my job at Citi starts Monday!), and in order to spare myself a considerable amount of stress, I withdrew. I confess this with some shame, but confessing failed classes would be worse. I do intend to continue schooling in Nampa. I'm going to look into BYU-I's online degrees, and if that doesn't pan out, then BSU it is! Oh boy....
And so here we are. My kids are in Nampa this week with their dad for Spring break and I miss them like crazy. But it's a lot easier packing my apartment without them. Even so, I think I'd rather have them here. :(
I'm moving on Friday and I can't even wait. I just can't wait!!

OH and guess what? Tonight, I have a date. On Sunday, my neighbor asked me out. You know, the one I wrote about earlier? The divorcee who is just about perfect? It's kinda sad that I'm leaving and he's interested enough to take me out, but.... NAMPA!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, February 12, 2010

Anna's Valentine

I got the kids little valentine presents. Anna loved hers. She had a pack of skittles that her daycare had given her. She told me, "Mom, I'm going to give this to someone I really love."
Me: Good idea! That's so sweet.
Anna hands me the skittles. "Here you go, Mom," she said.

If that's not the sweetest thing!

Thursday, February 11, 2010

More Kids Words

Anna and Matthias were vigorously singing "Do You Know the Muffin Man." This conversation ensued:
Me: Mmmm, I love muffins.
Anna: You love the muffin man?
Me: Oh yeah.
Anna: Maybe he's the one for you!

The kids were complaining about someone copying one of them. This conversation ensued:
Me: Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
Anna: What does that mean?
Me: It means that when someone copies you, it means they think you're the coolest. That's why Matthias copies you, Anna, because he thinks you're the coolest.
Anna: Matty, do you think I'm the coolest?
Matthias: Yeah
Me: Aaawww, see?
Anna: I think you're the coolest, Mommy!

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Anna Said/Matthias Said

Anna: Mom, are we from the same world?

Matthias: Mom, when I'm a dad, will you drive me to the place to get a wife?

Matthias has a PSR worker called Carlie. She's great. She was talking to Matty about how you learn stuff as you go and get smarter as you get older. As reported by Carlie:
Carlie: like your Mom, your mom's smart, right?
Matthias: Yes
Carlie: And your dad, he's smart, right?
Matthias: Not so much.

Anna, singing a popular children's church song: Families can be together forever through Heavenly Father's plants.

Anna: Matthias, if you wanna be a gentleman, you'll get me some water.

Anna, to her babysitter who was making herself a snack: Jesus likes it when we share...

Anna: Mom, this water bottle turned to ice.
Me: yes, that's because it's so cold [we were in the car].
Anna: Maybe if I take the lid off, it will melt and turn back to water!
Me: hmm, maybe.
Anna: and then if it gets cold, it will turn back to ice.
Me: that's right!
Anna: That's reversible change!
Me: ..... !!!!!

Anna: I want to be just like you, Mom.

Matthias: Sniff my heart

Matthias: My heart is cold

Matthias, during Sacrament Meeting: If someone's mean, and then they die, they will go to hell.
Me, whispering: shh. If they say sorry, they can go to heaven.
Matthias, not whispering: But if they don't say sorry to Jesus, then they will go to hell.
Me, desperate to have him stop saying "hell" in the middle of the Sacrament: maybe! shh!
We don't talk much about hell at our house so I'm not sure where he's getting this. LOL

Wednesday, February 3, 2010


I just spent the entire morning reading my old entries. I should have been doing homework so I won't fail and have to pay back my grant. I should stop anticipating this.

I want to be a blogger again. I think I'm funny. So many of the things I've written, I'm very glad I've written. This will be fun for my kids to look back at.

One reason I haven't been blogging is because I have no pictures. My camera broke a while ago. :(

Allow me to tell you some of my goals. I intend to pass my classes this semester. For two of my classes, this will require nothing short of a miracle. I pray for such a miracle.

Goals for February:
-Catch up in all my classes
-Get my house clean
-Quit Pepsi
-Read scriptures morningly before anything else!!


My kids have a new daycare provider. I think I already mentioned that I now have a new job and my shift ends at 7:00. Their daycares both closed at 6:00. So now they go to a SAHM in Sugar City. I really liked her at first but now I have concerns. We'll see how this goes.

I wish I could make money without working. I know that's oh so lazy but I just really want to be a SAHM myself. I miss the kids so much. I so deeply long to be with them all day.

The other day, I took them to an igloo. They loved it. Someone built one here in Rexburg. It's pretty cool.

Matthias will be five in less than a month. I'm very sad. In a month, I will never have a four-year-old again. He'll be five, and he is my youngest. I only have one more month to be the mother of four-year-old, and then it's gone.

Anna is six now. She's my princess but lately she's been throwing fits and being very demanding. Not sure what to do about it.

Ugh I should be doing homework. I have a science test tomorrow.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

I dunno.

Well I have a new job. I work at Western Wats. Yeah. So, if you get a call from anyone saying they're calling on behalf of a market research company, or if they're calling to get your opinions, please don't hang up because it may be me! And they're usually short, interesting surveys anyway. Like the one I did yesterday. I got to call Massachusetts and ask for whom they voted for Senator and ask why did they choose that person. If I had to guess who won by the responses I received, I'd have guessed it was Coakley. But go Scott Brown, now the Senate is a little more evenly distributed with both parties. Both candidates sounded like losers to me and I'm glad I didn't have to choose one.

Okay anyway. After I got my job at Wats, DI kicked me out. :( I miss it ever so much. I made very wonderful friendships and learned a great many things, and it was truly a blessing to have been employed there.

I'm back in school. I love it. But I don't make enough money so please donate. :) My classes are CIT140 (Computer Information Technology) and I'm learning all about Excel. It's about time. Comm130 (Visual Media) and I'm using fun programs like InDesign and Photoshop, etc. I love that class so far. Book of Mormon, which, of course, rocks. Comm399 which is some strange career prep class specifically for Comm majors. And FDSCI206. Science: Light and Sound. Bleh. But this is the last science class I have to take. Thank goodness because I really don't understand equations that have to do with velocity and time and frequency.... Don't get me wrong; it's very interesting, but my brain has a hard time grasping and retaining the information. Bleh. Generally, though, I'm very excited about this semester.

The subject of my last post doesn't seem into me anymore. :( I'm sad. He had his first first date last weekend and he said he had a great time.

Anna has glasses and she looks so, so cute in them! She doesn't love them but she is doing a good job at keeping them on all day. I hope this eliminates her mysterious headaches. She's doing well in Kindergarten and almost never has homework because she finishes it all at school. She's amazing. She knows what "reversible change" is and what "alliteration" means. :)

Matthias is as cute and funny as ever. I took him on a date this morning to McDonalds and we had the best time. He impressed the old people. :)

What else? Nothing? Okay. Happy 2010!