Every week, I go to church. When I have the kids, they come with me, obviously. For the most part, they do okay. It's not easy being a single mom at church, though. Not only is keeping track of kids who don't much enjoy sitting still a challenge (for any mom, single or otherwise), but it's like a constant reminder to the masses that I am divorced. Divorce is kinda an awkward badge to wear in the LDS community. I feel like either people feel sorry for me or they make judgments about my failed marriage. I don't want either. It's really not so bad, but it is something I sometimes worry about.
ANYWAY. This morning was awful. First of all, the kids and I ALL slept until 9:30! I could scarcely believe it when I saw the clock. Church starts at 10:30. Usually the kids wake up at around 7:30 or 8 and so do I so I can't imagine what inspired this household over-sleep. So I had an hour to get me and the kids ready for church. Plus, Anna had a talk in primary today. Plus, I was substituting Anna's primary class today. Anna and I went over her talk like twice the night before. I'd planned on taking most this morning to have her really learn it, but that became an impossibility when we slept so late. I forfeited a shower. Gross, I know, but it was still early enough that it didn't really show. Hehe. About ten minutes before we were finally ready (about 10:45), the kids went all crazy berserk and were screaming about who knows what and fighting and crying and whining and stressing me out. I got the screaming kids in the car and drove to church. We were only a half hour late. Unbelievable. Well the church is around the corner, so the kids hadn't had time to really calm down. Actually I think the issues escalated. They were still screaming and whining there in the church parking lot and I turned off the car and just sat there and waited. Then they started screaming that the wanted out the car. I told them I would not take them into the church until they were ready. They screamed. I was seriously stressed out.
Finally we made it inside the building and since we were so late I didn't even bother attempting to find a pew in the chapel. We just sat in the foyer. Anna finally settled down. Matthias thought it would be a grand idea to run around and make noises and when I tried to stop him, he loudly protested. I took him to a different room and managed to get him calm. The rest of Sacrament Meeting was.... okay. The kids were okay. But I could still feel the anxiety ball between my eyes.
Then, finally, the closing prayer was given and I deposited Matthias into the nursery, glad to have him off my hands for the next two hours. I love him very, very much.
Then I took Anna to her class and I went in, too, for I was the teacher today. The lesson went pretty well considering my lack of preparation (not TOTAL lack, just less than I'd wanted it to be). There were three four year old girls and two five year old boys. Really great kids, the lot. I really enjoyed teaching them (we learned about why saying Thank you is so important, and went over the story of the Ten Lepers from the Book of Luke).
Then was Sharing/Singing time (for my non-LDS readers, that's where all the kids ages 3 to 11 get together and learn Gospel songs and have an involved lesson. Actually that's not true. Most wards around here split it up, one group is kids 3-8 and the other is 8-12 but our ward's primary is tiny). Anna had the talk, as I said earlier, which they did during closing exercises. So when her turn came, I was really worried that she would freeze like she did last time. I went up to help her. She held up the pictures that she had colored (all except one, which she asked me to color) and repeated the words I whispered in her ear. She did great! She was so cute.
She finished and we sat back down for the song and prayer. When we were dismissed, a member of the Primary Presidency approached me and asked if I would save all the parts of Anna's talk so she could deliver it in the Primary Program! My daughter is going to be famous! Oh, again, for you unbelievers... er, I mean, wonderful people who aren't LDS... the Primary Program is when the whole primary (kids ages 3 to 11) is in charge of Sacrament Meeting. It happens once yearly. They get to sing all the songs they've been learning all year and some of them give talks or just little blurbs that are Gospel-related, and it takes the entire Sacrament Meeting block. It's really quite wonderful. I look forward to it every year.
Anyway, this sister told me it was a really cute talk, and Anna was so cute when she was giving it, and they've been looking for some talks that they want to include in the program. And Anna was chosen. I'm excited about that. I just hope the Program isn't on a Sunday when Randy is scheduled to have the kids. That would be so sad!
So church didn't start out so great, but it ended up not too shabby. I do love church.
And Matthias is becoming a peeing pro. Took him to church today in underoos, for the first time! No pullup today! And I picked him up from Nursery dry (and he was grinning and was so happy to see me and asked me if I was happy. I love him very, very much).