Holy beans. (Incidentally, if you've never tried holy beans, I highly recommend them.) It just sneaked up on me. Wednesday! And I don't even have notebooks. I haven't purchased my text books. I just thought it would never get here, and never leaves a lot of time. Well here it is.
I'm at once psyched, thrilled, terrified, worried, hopeful and inconfident. But mostly I'm excited. However, on Wednesday, the day I have most my classes, I will be unable to attend. Matthias has an exceedingly important appointment in Idaho Falls that day. It's a four hour appointment to start at 8:30. My classes that day begin at 7:45 (at which time I'll be leaving) and end at 11:15. I'm kinda bummed that I'll be missing three first classes. Oh well. I have six total classes. I shall bore you with the details.
Well I'm majoring in Communications, going into Public Relations. Most my desired classes were taken, so I'm taking a lot of required generals. My classes:
Introduction to Communication Major
Science Foundations (UGH. I really wish I'd fulfilled my science requirement at Snow)
Foundations Professional Communication
World Ideologies in Conflict: Middle East
A Farewell to Art?: Persuasion and Propoganda in the 20th Century
Somehow, all these six difficult sounding classes only equal 12 credits. Um, at Snow College, if I had 6 classes, I had 18 credits. Bleh.
I used to be against Church schools. Not in general, but for me. I just didn't want to be around so many Mormons. I don't easily make friends with Mormons, oddly. And I didn't want to do the trendy thing, of being LDS and attending and LDS school. I've since changed my mind. As I've already been given some assignments for some of my classes, and in completing them, I've realized how excited I am for this Church school! I love that things secular and spiritual are combined, which assuredly will bring more advanced light and truth than any other conceivable combination of ideas, or of learning methods. I'm very excited. I love to learn; I love to know, and I think I'll learn more here at Brigham Young University Idaho than I have at any other institution. Part of that will be because it is now crucial that I learn, so that I can support my family with some degree of stability.
So tomorrow I'll be buying my books. Oh, and my financial aid came through! My tuition and books will be covered! YAY!
Rent, however.... who KNOWS where that will come from! God will figure it out. He always does; hasn't let me down yet. I've never been without a place to live (except that one time in Washington, but it was summer, and I didn't have kids (though I was pregnant), so sleeping in a commercial garage wasn't so bad), and I count that as an enormous blessing, one that never will be repaid. But I'll try. "How can I see another's lack and I not share my glowing fire, my loaf of bread, my roof's safe shelter overhead? That he, too, may be comforted." To try to repay is to share what we have.
Excuse the unintended tangent.
Anyway. God's gotten me this far. He's been with me through each journey; He's gotten me out of pits I dig for myself and jump into. Ooo, another tangent. I hang my work badge on my door because it's the ONLY way I'm sure to remember it. Anna was one day jumping, trying to reach my badge. I told her she better not knock it down because I need it for work. She knocked it down. I told her to put it back up. Now, she's five. She's not five feet. I knew she couldn't reach it; but it's part of life. What we remove, we must replace. She picked up my badge and soon realized she would not be able to put it back up on the slidy lock thing. She said, "I can't do it, Mommy." I said, "well, you knocked it down. It's now your responsibility to put it back up." I then approached her and told her I know she can't reach it, and if she will give me the badge, I'll put it back up for her. She did so, I did so, and she said "Thank you Mommy!" So cute! And as I replaced my badge, I thought, that's what God does for me. I mess up, and I can't fix it by myself. So, if I just give Him what I can't do, after I've done everything I can, he does the rest. Only thanks to the Atonement of Christ. I love when normal, mundane moments in life remind you of principles eternal. So, anyway, I'm sure He won't leave me alone now. What good father would abandon His daughter? I'm excited for the future. I'm really thinking about the future for the first time in my life and I'm excited for it. The future lies waiting to be molded, and I get to choose, to some degree, the shape it takes, the past it makes.