Saturday, November 6, 2010

Fall 2010 Update

I don't blog as often because I don't have pictures to post. That's because my camera doesn't work very well. Sad.

Well right now I'm looking to buy a house. Here's how I feel about that: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm so excited. I wish I could have a house right now. But, no, there's loans and processes and blah blah blah. My goal/desire/wish-upon-a-star is to have my own place by Christmas.

Speaking of wishing on a star, do you remember when you believed that wishing on a star worked? And no matter how many times you didn't get your wish, you wished again anyway? Anna is in that stage now. She wishes on a star all the time. She whispers her wish (because, of course, if you say it out loud, it won't come true), and usually I can't hear it. And I won't think to ask her to break the rules and tell me what her wish is, though I usually really do want to know. But the other night, I heard her wish. She wished for powers.

Haha! She's so cute. Her favorite power is one that she made up, and that is the power to change her dolls, stuffed animals, ponies and any other toy (including Legos) into living things, and the power to change animals into people. And then the power to change them back whenever she wants. Once I asked her if she could have any power what would it be. Her response: "Actually, endless powers."

Anna's birthday is in about 6 weeks and I can't wait. I love her birthday.

Well, my sister is getting a divorce. I'm sad and I worry about her because she's better than I am and doesn't deserve the hell of divorce. I didn't deserve it either but Melanie is just -- well I don't know really but it just seems like more of an injustice with her than me. Plus, I know what it's like and I wouldn't wish the raw pain that I went through on anyone. Especially not someone I love.

So I don't know what to do to help her but I wish I could just make it all go away.

I'm still single! So very, very single. There was this guy that I had a little hope in for a while. I found him on eHarmony. (BTW, eHarmony is WAY better than LDSsingles). We never actually met in person since he lives in Colorado, but after a month of talking online and on the phone (this was September), he was planning a visit so we could meet. He seemed so perfect. He was LDS, smart, funny, had a career (you know, a real job that could actually support a family), he seemed so respectful and sweet. He was intelligent. And we had some really great conversations. But things got a little weird. He started making comments that were, to me, inappropriate for our stage in the (non-) relationship. I simply told him I felt that way and he got defensive. Then I realized he was a human and not a demigod and shoot, I can find humans all over the place; I don't need one outta Colorado. Then I realized I don't know him at all and he doesn't know me at all and to be very honest, I had a crazy episode which involved realizing that if he's human, he can break my heart. Not that there was much of an investment, but he was the closest thing to a relationship I've had in over three years. Well, come to find out, I'm not ready for a heart break. I thought I was. But I'm not. And, so, I'm not ready to risk a heart break. And so, I'm not ready for a relationship. At all.

He wasn't a bad guy. Maybe. I guess I don't really know. Luckily for me, he also decided he wasn't ready to come out and meet me, and he told me that, sparing me the job.

It was kinda a blow. Really? I'm not ready for love? It's been almost FOUR YEARS since my ex husband left. How can I not be ready? How can I not be healed? What is the matter with me? So.

Live and learn!! If there's a next time, he'll be local.

There's no one right now. I don't even have a crush. I don't know of anyone around here that I'd be interested in dating. That's depressing because I know a LOT of single ladies, most of whom feel the same way: not really any single guys around here worth dating. Well... there is this guy in my ward I'm curious about. I don't even know his name, but I'm 98% sure he's single. He shines, so that's why I'm curious about him. I want to know howcome he's shiny. He seems shy and sweet and always has on a nice suit. But mostly, he shines.

Moving on. I have been homeschooling my kids. But my schooling leaves a lot to be desired. My kids are very smart. Both of them are reading at a level higher than their own grade. Both know addition and subtraction pretty dang well. They can even tell you what waning crescent and waxing gibbous means, and they can define Soprano, Alto, Tenor and Bass. Okay, so that's not really relevant for the 1st grade, but come on: that's impressive. The reason I'm homeschooling them is because I work 1:30 Pm to 10:00 Pm. Meaning, if they went to school, I would NEVER see them. But, the mornings are when I do my errands, chores, all that stuff, why did I ever think I could educate my kids? It's just not working out so well. I need a day shift SO bad. I'm really working on it.

Um.... must-read books for you: DaVinci Code. Kite Runner. A Thousand Splendid Suns. But Hunger Games wasn't as good as it was cracked up to be. I only read the first and I've no desire to continue the series.

That is all.

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