Thursday, May 13, 2010

Brief Update

WELL we are here in Nampa and have been for nearly 6 weeks. I think I can speak for all of us when I say we LOVE it! Anna had a really hard time leaving her friends in Rexburg, but she's made a ton of new friends here already and she's okay now.
Our house is SO cute. I live with an old acquaintance, Sarina. She owns this adorable 3 bedroom house and lived here alone till I and my children joined her. We get the other 2 bedrooms and we all share the living room, kitchen and yard. But it's more like I live here alone because Sarina's work schedule conflicts with mine and we never see eachother unless I have a day off. And the rent is ever so reasonable.

The neighborhood is fantastic. We live in a cul-de-sac and there's a bunch of little kids here too. How perfect is that for a kid?

Leaving Rexburg was interesting. I thought I had a lot of friends. But, looking back, I think of that country song, "You Find out who Your Friends Are." That's for sure. The friends I thought were closest didn't even come to say goodbye to me, let alone help me move. Many of them stopped by to take something off my hands that I was getting rid of (a bed, a wedding dress, two paintings) but that was it. They grabbed my stuff and left. I was surprised. Even the friends who claimed they would cry when I left didn't come help me move. Maybe they meant cry for joy. ;) I'm not all butt hurt about it-- okay, I admit, at first I was-- but it really did surprise me. Only a handful of the people I met in Rexburg are true friends, and for them I am so very grateful. It was just kinda a wake up call for me. A time to re-evaluate my friend-making method and adjust some things for the future. Mostly I realized that I trust people too early. I invest a lot into relationships without indication that there will be a return. That will change. :)

BUT, with the help of my family, my cousin and her boyfriend, and my friend BEN STODDARD the rockstar, we moved.

I began training at my job the following Monday. Training was a drag but after five weeks of that, I'm finally taking phone calls on the floor and I really dig my job. I even like my shift, 1:30 to 10:00 pm. I get the whole morning with my kids and then get to hang out with awesome folks at work all night.

At first, my ex husband was watching the kids while I worked. He wanted to, and that surprised and impressed me, so that's what we did. But it became ridiculous. The kids hated it; Matthias cried most mornings. They just didn't wanna go to Daddy's every day. And he became so unreasonable with his requests (park at this exact location when dropping them off and picking them up, don't talk to me, don't ask how the kids did that day, don't request he do anything for the kids, sign up Anna for free lunch at school or else, let me have the kids on foodstamps, etc.) so I got them enrolled in daycare where I was free to inquire about my children and park wherever I wanted, and where the kids looked forward to going in the morning. For a while. Soon I lost respect for the daycare and their methods (boy, do I sound picky or what?). The teachers didn't seem at all invested in my children and I am insulted by that. They over promised and under delivered. So, when my sister-in-law offered to watch the kids for a very low price, I pulled them out of that daycare too. And now everyone is happy with Christine and Chris. My kids LOVE going there and I know I can trust her and it's a great deal. I'm VERY grateful for her service. She's so amazing.

Well my ex was VERY upset with me for putting the kids in daycare so he told me he will never take the kids for his scheduled weekends again until I change. In other words, when I give him control again, he'll take the kids on his weekends. In other words, if he can't have the kids when I'm working, he doen'st want to see them at all. Logical, right? He's made good on his word and has skipped his past 2 weekends. So far, the kids don't mind, but soon they'll start to miss him and then I don't know what I'll do or how I'll explain that they can't go to their daddy's.

So much for "brief" huh? I need to play with my kids before I go to work. Off we go!

4 comments:

Melanie said...

Yeah, I was gonna make a comment about the "brief" part too.
You shouldn't have to explain anything to the kids. Make Randy do it himself. Or just make it out that you love them so much and get to see them this weekend too, isn't that lucky? Lets do something fun.

HappyClimate said...

can I push your ex off a cliff. PLEASE!! Seriously, I get so angry when I hear the things he does.
On a brighter note, yay for new beginnings, I am so glad you all are happy there!

Stephanie said...

haha yes Shelly you can!!

poofypoe said...

Heck, I did your makeup for your wedding and wished you the best... and *I* want to push him off a cliff! At least let me hold Shelly's belt to steady her while she pushes, ok?

Adults can fight their own battles (I have an ex-husband, I do understand!) but those kids should NEVER be used as weapons against the other parent. If he has an issue with you, it should be taken up with YOU and not involve the children in any way. UGH!! Makes me angry to hear stories like that.

On a brighter note, grats on getting things sorted and moving towards settled! You're a tough, smart, beautiful lady, and you'll kick the butt of any difficult situation! Go you! *\o/*