Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Dear Future Husband

Dear Future Husband,

I have come to accept that I may never meet you in this life. But, if I do, here is the kind of wife I will be:

I will love you wholly, fully, unashamedly, uninhibitedly, unreservedly. It may take me a while to let all my love out. I may reserve some love for a time until I believe I can trust you with it, or until I believe that trusting you with it is worth the risk. But, before I become your wife, I will commit to loving you with all of me. I will hold nothing back.

I will be proud of you. I will speak highly of you to everyone when I speak of you. I will never shame you in the presence of others, whether or not you're there.

I will encourage you. I will respect you. I will listen to you and put myself in your shoes if we have differing views. I will speak with you logically, and I will remind you that emotions are important too. I will validate you.

I will cook delicious dinners for you. I will wash your clothes and match up your socks. I will bear your children and love them with all the love that I possess. I will teach them about Jesus Christ. I will teach them about life. I will give them an education to be proud of. I will teach them, by my example, that you, as their father and step father, are a man of honor, and a man to look up to, and a man worthy of imitation.

I will clean our house. That will be hard because I hate to clean. But, as I imagine it, I will have so much respect for you that I will seek to make your time at home as pleasant as possible, and that will include a clean house. And so, dear husband, I will clean for you.

I will even pack your lunches in the morning before you go to work. If you want me to.

I will love you exactly as you are, but I will hope for your improvement, as we are all imperfect. I will expect you to continuously improve yourself. I will expect you to expect this of me.

I will go where you want me to go.

I will rub your feet, and your back. I'm really good at massages, you know.

On your birthday, I will make your favorite dinner. On your birthday, and other occasions, I will come up with silly and creative ways to show my love, such as scavenger hunts around the house or the town, surprising you with a short get-away, writing you a song.

I will write you poetry. I will play the piano for you. When you cry, I will cry with you. When you laugh, I will too. I will love you the same when you go bald. I'll sew buttons on your clothes. I will tell you you look amazing.

I will kiss you all the time. When you come home from work, I'll greet you with a kiss. Before you go to bed I will tell you I love you. I will hold your hand and walk with you. I'll share the quietest parts of me with you. I'll be the best you ever had.

I'll watch action movies with you. If you want, I'll even watch a football game with you every so often.

I will pray with you and I'll pray for you. I'll read with you. I will love your family.

I'll wash your car for you.

You will be the best thing about my life. I will support you in your decisions, all the time. If you tell me I'm doing too much, I will listen. If you tell me I'm not doing enough, I will listen. I'll bring you a glass of water when you're thirsty. I will be interested in your job and in your hobbies, even if I don't always want to participate in them.

All I want from you, dear man, is the following:

Faithfulness. I want you to love God with all your heart, and love me second best, second ONLY to God the Father and His Son, and none else. I will place you in the same spot. I want you to take me Home.

Your heart. I want you to share everything about you with me. I want to be the first one you tell when you get a promotion, or when you get a flat tire on your bike. I want to be the one you want to be with, everywhere you go.

Your Eyes. I want to be the only woman you look at, look for. You will of course be the only man I seek.

Your Ears. I want to be able to trust you with anything I have to say. I want you to be interested in what I have to say.

Your lips. So I can kiss them all the time.

Your mind. So I can discuss things with you, things that are deep and serious, things that are light and fun. I hope you know who Atticus Finch is, and I hope you love something by a famous artist. But that's not necessary. I just need you to be of slightly above-average intelligence.

Integrity. I want you to be man of honor, and I want you to honor me. I need for you to not lie to me, or anyone. I want you to be true to yourself and to your God.

Security, financial. I want to be a stay at home mom. It's very important to me that you have a job, a career, that will support a family. I want you to take this obligation seriously, and to gladly take on that responsibility- the one of supporting your family. Within reason. Mainly, I don't want you to think it's cool to support your family with the State's funds. Relying on food stamps is not cool. Relying on medicaid is not cool. I won't marry you if you think it is. I want you to have some pride, pride in supporting your family by the work of your hands, or of your mind, whatever it may be.

Security, emotional. I want to count on you. If you say you'll call me, call me. Be where you say you'll be when you say you'll be there. This goes along with integrity.

I expect a lot, but I'm willing to give a lot. It is possible that you don't exist for me in this life. That's okay. I'll wait.

With all the love that I possess,
your wife.


Lacy Brower said...

Wow steph this brought tears to my eyes! You will be an amazing wife to an amazing man someday! I don't know when that day will be but he will be a very lucky man to have you to call his wife!

Stephanie said...

Thank you Lacy!!! What a compliment!

Angela said...

Thank you so much for posting that! It made me evaluate myself,and want to be better. I agree, the man you marry will be a lucky man!!

Stephanie said...

Thanks Angela! I hope you and your family are well!

arvinchawla said...

An amazing, touching description. Only a person with true feelings can write so passionately!
Here's hoping you find somebody equally amazing...soon!

Stephanie said...

thank you, kind stranger!