but this IS homework!

If I really stretch it, blogging is a part of my homework. I'm supposed to be a good writer for my major/career choice. Even in writing, practice helps. See? Totally homework.

Actually. This is a distraction. I have SO much dang homework that I can't possibly finish it. Ever. So I'm blogging instead; I can finish a post. And while I'm writing here, I have an "excuse" to avoid homework. When I'm finished, I'll have to find another distraction. Maybe I'll clean. Soon, I'll have no more excuses and I'll be forced to write my 1500 word research paper.

It's due Friday. The rough draft was due last Friday, but I got nothin. It's not the 1500 words that scare me. Shoot, I can write 1500 words in an hour. So . . . I really don't know what it is that is barring me from starting this darn paper.

Here's what it is. It's a representative profile. It's for my communications writing class. You know those feature stories you read in the Wall Street Journal or other sources? They're about a person and about an issue that the person represents. We had to pick a person that we didn't know well, find out what they represent, and write about it. We had to do interviews, tons of research, and several meetings with the person throughout the semester.

I chose this girl I work with, Elizabeth. Actually, she wasn't my first choice. The first four people I wanted to do either couldn't, wouldn't or said they would but then disappeared. So I chose Elizabeth. The issue is homeschool -- specifically adults in the world who had been homeschooled. She was homeschooled most of her school years, starting in California. I swear that wasn't planned. I've learned so dang much about homeschooling and that's why I've come to the decision I've come to about Anna. It's so weird that I spent most of my life homeschooling but didn't really know a thing about it. The more I know, the more I feel the need to implement it in my home. I totally dig Dr. Raymond Moore and Dr. Brian Ray and John Holt. Now I think it's weird that I had no idea who these people were before I started this assignment. If not for any of them, it's likely I'd have never been homeschooled. ANYWAY. It's been a very enjoyable project, but now it's at the end, and all that's left is to write the darn thing. This should be the easy part! What is happening? Writer's block like this is not traditionally my companion.

Oh, you know what else? Since this is a journalism class, we have to get all the sides. So I've looked up research about why public school is better than homeschool. Know what I've found? NOTHING. I've looked up opposing views. I can't find anything worth including in a respectable paper. There are plenty of claims that homeschool is harmful but I can't find a single study to back that up, not one. If any of you know any, hit me; I really need it for my paper. Also, I've interviewed public school teachers, thinking for sure they'd be able to tell me why public school is best for a kid. But, nope. They were all (provisionally, admittedly) supportive of homeschooling! Seriously!

The only thing against homeschooling is unproven stereotypes, insofar as I can tell.

Do you see how I'm stalling?

In other news, I went on a date the other week. First time in a year. I decided I hate dating and I'd almost rather die alone than go through the hassle.

Fourth of July was flippin' awesome. Maybe I'll post pictures. Kids and I had the best day ever ever.

OH check it out. I have a guitar. I don't know how to play the guitar. I've had it for a while but have never even tried to use it. Until yesterday. I looked up Blackbird on youtube and learned the introduction! My kids LOVE that song and they were so excited when I played it for them and I was so excited when they recognized what I was playing! Now if I could just get someone to show me some technique.

So the other day Matthias said when he grows up he wants to be "a policeman who kills bad guys with his gun. A real gun."

I swear, he makes this stuff up and it just happens to coincide with reality.

I can't stall any longer.

Is Anyone There?

Well hello. It's been a crazy semester. I have had no time to catch up on my blog (not that anyone enjoys reading all about me as much as I do). And, really, I have no time now. I have some intense assignments due soon that should have been done already. Oy. The stress. S-T-E-P-H-A-N-I-E spells "stress."

So, Anna is supposed to start Kindergarten this fall. I have been on a seesaw of decision about that. I want to homeschool my children. I WILL homeschool my children. The debate is whether or not I start now. I'm a single mom and a student myself; is homeschooling really the wise choice? I have committed to homeschooling. I have committed to sending her to Kennedy Elementary. I can't stay with one decision long because the other one always seems wiser. But, at this point, I'm leaning to homeschool again. I know this decision will be met with plenty of opposition, but, this is America, Anna is my daughter, and I get to make the choice.

Anyway. My point is. I'm totally going to start a new blog. If I stick with the choice to homeschool, I'm makin a new blog about homeschooling adventures. I think it'll be fun. Of course, I won't be the only one but it'll be fun anyway.

Anna Danielle

My sweet five year old lost her two front teeth over the weekend. That makes a total of six teeth lost. I wish I could stop or at least slow her growth! She's getting older right before my eyes!

She's my genius. A few weeks ago, I created a simple math worksheet for her. I took a picture of it and maybe one day I'll get around to posting it. Anyway, it was, you know, those column problems, 5 on top of 2 w/ a plus sign and a line -- you follow, right? I made 12 problems, all equaling less than ten. I instructed her briefly on what to do with the problems and told her to solve them, and I left the room. She finished in just a few minutes and got 11 right. Yay, Anna! I was so impressed!

So today I was looking up math worksheets just to see what grade level certian problems are and found out the worksheet I made her was 1st grade level.

She's going to be so bored in Kindergarten.

I printed another first grade sheet today off the Net and she finished it, no problem. There was even a problem with a sum greater than ten, and she got it!

So now she's working on spelling words of the first grade level (according to one website) and she read each word, no problem, just went down the list as if all she ever does is read. She is printing them now. She's not so great at printing. So we're working on that. She's not very familiar with printing lower case letters. She recognizes them all and can read them fine but struggles a little w/ printing, only because she hasn't done it very often.

I may as well keep her home and work with her every night, you know? Seriously, I'm really thinking about it. I mean, in Kindergarten, they'll learn about shapes and colors and counting and COME ON! She's known that stuff since she was three. And she'll get the idea that school is supposed to be easy. I don't know if I want her to think school is easy. I want her to actually exercise her brain.

I don't know. I don't know what I'll do. Any suggestions?

I love that little girl! She's so smart and sweet and funny. OH. I have to tell you her story. She was pretending to be "Ashley" and Ashley knew Anna; they were friends. I was Anna's mom (just like I really am) and Ashley was telling me all about Anna and how much fun they have at "school" and she has other friends, too, called Jane and Arania. Well I, apparently, worked with Jane's mom. Anna--I mean, Ashely-- said Jane's mom is mean. I told her I don't work with any mean people, so Jane's mom must not be mean. Ashley insisted Jane's mom is mean. I gave. "How is she mean?" I asked. "She eats Jane's toys!" Anna/Ashley said. I laughed so hard at the image of a mother eating her daughters toys. I conceded, "yes, that's pretty mean." Anna then said, "Jane's mommy is mean so Jane got a new mommy." Me: "What? She can't get a new mommy! People don't just get new mommies." Anna/Ashley: "Well Jane's mom died." Me: "Oh my goodness! That's so sad, how did she die?" Anna/Ashley, matter-of-factly: "From the toys!"

Gracious.

Later she told me there's a cheetah in my trunk and it's a mommy cheetah and she had ten babies. In my trunk! I'm so scared to open it. OH, and then the same day she told me this really great story: "Once there was a little rabbit, she was a girl. Her little brother was a carrot. So she almost ate her brother."

Wow. She's a keeper, that one. :)

Pirate at Albertsons

We went to Albertsons yesterday, the kids and I. Shortly after we entered the store, a very old, stooped, bearded man wearing an eye patch entered. Matthias was sitting in the cart kid seat and asked me, "Mommy, is that a pirate?" I looked at the gentleman behind me and he didn't seem to have heard, so I said in a low tone, "I don't think so, son." I think I shouldn't have left so much room for doubt. We walked ahead a little bit, looking at the 10 for $10 sale items. The very old fellow remained just behind. Matthias kept staring at him, grinning his all-teeth-bearing grin. SO CUTE. The man was coming closer (because I was stopped, now, at the sale items) and Matthias was still staring at him. The man said hello. Matthias said, "Are you a pirate?" still grinning that flippin' adorable grin. He was SO excited to meet a pirate!
Luckily, the very old man was very good natured and he said, "Yes. I'm a pirate. But I'm a good pirate. Are you a good boy?"
Matthias could not have been more thrilled. His very wide smile widened and he nodded.

Redeem

Amen to Donne

I had a little too much caffeine today (one day I'll quit, I swear) and I'm having trouble sleeping. I hate staying up late. It's a sin, totally. :) Well, for me anyway. I was feeling a little creative and decided to write a poem. I'm pretty impressed with it, actually; its form is perhaps original. I haven't seen this construction before. It's probably been done before, but I haven't seen it. So there. :) I'll just tell you. It's 8 syllables in one line, and the next line has 2 syllables. The second syllable in every 2 lines rhymes with the 6th syllable of the previous line. How about that, right?
Its title: Amen to Donne. I'll explain after you read this fun little ditty (and don't freak out. I'm a poet and therefore get to exaggerate and fictionalize. One should never assum the speaker of the poem and its author are one in the same.) With no further adieu:

Amen to Donne
It is woven within my being,
This sin.
A parasite, it seems, of sun
And dreams.
It is to me as plant to soil.
I can’t
Expunge my soul, O God, forgive
My fraud
Forgive my fraud! And yet, hold off
(Regret
Is well but cannot stay my hand, a week,
A day)
Until the hour Thou wilt banish
My guilt
By taking this my fav’rite sin—
My grave—
And accomplices; thought, desire
I’ve fought
With tireless hope which avails me not.
Assails
Still, this sin, O God! For what?So, God,
My Father, take away this plague!
I say,
Unweave my fibers, change my heart!
Derange
My days. O’erthrow and bend, for Thou
Dost mend
As yet, but batter my heart! For I
Will fly
Only as Thou restraineth my wings.
4.29.09

What do you think? Don't think about it as something written by Stephanie, but what do you think of it as a literary work? I've called it "Amen to Donne" because I've quote one of my favorite poems ever ever, which is by John Donne, who was a preacher I think, and never did anything really bad, and yet he wrote this amazing sonnet:
Batter my heart, three-personed God, for You
As yet but knock, breathe, shine, and seek to mend.
That I may rise and stand, o'erthrow me, and bend
Your force to break, blow, burn, and make me new.
I, like an usurped town to another due,
Labor to admit You, but Oh! to no end.
Reason, Your viceroy in me, me should defend,
But is captived, and proves weak or untrue.
Yet dearly I love You and would be loved fain,
But am betrothed to Your enemy;
Divorce me, untie or break that knot again;
Take me to You, imprison me, for I,
Except You enthrall me, never shall be free,
Nor ever chaste, except You ravish me.

That is a thing of beauty, right there. WELL. Tell me how you think of my poem!

Alas

Well tomorrow school starts again and I didn't get half the stuff done that I wanted to this week. UGH. I did get family pictures (my kids actually smiled!), get my kids caught up on immunizations, cleaned my house a wee bit, and took my kids to the park. But mostly I worked. I really like my job. Well, lemme rephrase. I like to go to work. My actual job is dumb. I stand at a table and sort clothes all day long, I'm a sorter. Can't wait till I get a new job that pays decent. But this is better than nothing! It makes my body very sore, though. (Oh, btw, I totally work at Deseret Industries.) The people with whom I work are really really cool, and that sometimes makes all the difference.

My schedule starting tomorrow is going to be ridiculous. School, work, dinner, bed. But, good news, my brother Cameron is going to be moving in next month and that will help out soooo much! I'll still have my kids go to daycare because I don't think my kids or Cameron would well handle 9 hours a day together. So morning daycare, and afternoon Cameron! I'll save so much money.

I'm really excited about my classes tomorrow. The classes I'm taking are: Comm 111 (communications writing), Comm 102 (Public Speaking!), FDAMF (American History - a required general), ENG 110 -- lemme explain. As a Comm major, I am required to declare a minor. So I declared English, of course. Now, I started out as an English major and so have many classes completed in that field. However, BYU-I added ENG 110 and recently decided to make it a requirement for English minors as well as English majors. This class didn't exist at Snow College or BSU back in the day when I went, so I never took it. So, yay, I totally get to take an English 100 class. LAME! Oh well, it seems like it'll be fun. AND last but not least, I'm taking ENG 251, which also wasn't required back at Snow. Oh well. I'm not really sure what that class is about. Something about literature. And, that one's an online course! Yipee!

SO. Yep. School starts again tomorrow and I'm excited!